It's like God shit irony all over that family
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
