Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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