would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
