Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
