she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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