I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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