He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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