Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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