i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
