Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
