Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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