its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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