im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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