I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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