i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
