i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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