Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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