There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Drake has all the answers
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
