I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
