bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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