I want you more than these girls want KFC
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
