Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
