I looked at my own cervix.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
