i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
