That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
