they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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