Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
farters have to be the big spoon...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
