Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think my mom watched the whole time
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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