I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
