I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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