It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
