better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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