The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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