I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
