So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
