god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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