Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
