Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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