i will never coherently bang her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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