i jhust puked up my retainher.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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