remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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