I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
