Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
