i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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