So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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