Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
