Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
