I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
