I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
