Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
